B and E!

This term we have been doing something called business and enterprise. In this we have to create a product to sell to our friends and families, even people we don't know. I am in a group that consist of Mulan, Genaca and Tanisha. We have a company called The Slime Tribe and if you can't tell what we are making, we have decided to make slime.

Moto
It's time for us to shine, It's our slime time.

Logo

A Strange Thing Happened On My Way To School Today!

For the past 3 weeks we have been working on persuading and entertaining.

On my other post I was to persuade my parents/gardenions to by me my

dream pet. I chose wolf because I love them. We were told that we weren't

aloud to entertain. In this 1 that was our main goal and I feel that I did an amazing

job.

Title: A strange thing happened on the way to school today

Make up a story about something strange that happened on the way to school.

Make sure you:

Have an orientation (where, when, who)

Describe the main characters

Tell me about a problem that happened

Tell me how the problem was solved

End with a conclusion

Have a clear message, theme or moral.

Instructions:

• Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.
• Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.
• Read the feedback from your writing buddy.
• Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.
• Assess the final version of your own writing for Ideas and Structure & Language using the Writing Rubric.
• Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for Ideas and Structure & Language using the Writing Rubric.

Stumbling on the pathway through the forest trying to get to school on time.

It was friday and I was tired from all the work from school. I was by myself

because I woke up late.

I stopped only to hear a howl from the trees. I got intrigued in what it was

that made the howl so I went of the path and into the dark part of the woods.

I looked around only to find wolves laying on the ground with others on top.

The once green grass had blood dripping from it. I got scared and started to

scream. Everything went quiet. Not one wolf was moving but they were all

looking at me.

I noticed that three wolves were trudering towards me so I moved back.

All of the wolves ( that were alive ) were growling at me as if I were their

prey. I finally noticed wolf that was right in front of me but what shocked

me the most is that It turned into my brother. The other wolf tuned into

my father and the last wolf turned into a man that I felt had a lot of power.

The wolves started to fight again but this time the man and my family

grabed me and ran they ran and ran until we couldn't hear them anymore.

The man that I didn't know walked up to me, grabbed me and shouted “MINE”!

My father told me that we were all werewolves and I was shocked.

I found out that that the man's name was river. Apparently he was my

mate and I got told that a mate is short for soulmate. It’s something

that wolves do. They can’t live without them. The wolves that I just

saw were from his pack. He is the alpha also known as the leader.

Some of them are roges and they are trying to protect their kids

and mates. I wanted to help them but my mate dragged me to the

house and locked me in his room. The war ended and I realized

that I was late to school.

That is what happens when you wake up late and walk away from

your path. Always stay on track.

Here Is My Feedback From My Friend Chloe

Hey Emily, Your story is very interesting I like the part when you

said “were growling at me as if I were their prey” There is a few

things that you need to work on like things that don’t make sense

“I found out that that the man's name was river and he was my

mate. I got told that a mate is like a soulmate for wolves” besides

that it is amazing keep up the great work.

Here Is My Amazing Final That I Have Worked So Hard On

Stumbling on the pathway through the forest trying to get to school

on time. It was friday and I was tired from all the work from school.

I was by myself because I woke up late.

I stopped only to hear a howl from the trees. I got intrigued in what

it was that made the howl so I went of the path and into the dark

part of the woods. I looked around only to find wolves laying on the

ground with others on top. The once green grass had blood dripping

from it. I got scared and started to scream. Everything went quiet. Not

one wolf was moving but they were all looking at me.

I noticed that three wolves were trudering towards me so I moved back.

All of the wolves ( that were alive ) were growling at me as if I were their

prey. I finally noticed wolf that was right in front of me but what shocked

me the most is that It turned into my brother. The other wolf tuned into

my father and the last wolf turned into a man that had a lot of power vibrating

of him.

The wolves started to fight again but this time the man and my family

grabed me and ran they ran and ran until we couldn't hear them anymore.

The man that I didn't know walked up to me, grabbed me and shouted “MINE”!

My father told me that we were all werewolves and I was shocked.

I found out that that the man's name was river and he was my mate. I got

told that a mate is like a soulmate for wolves. They can’t live without them.

The wolves that I just saw were from his pack. He is the alpha also known

as the leader. The wolves that were trying to hurt them were roges. There

weren't any woman there because they were all in the safe house. I

wanted to help them but my mate dragged me to the house and locked

me in his room so I don’t get hurt.

The war ended and I realized that I was late to school. I quickly ran out of

the house and darted to school like I were a cheater. I got three weeks

of detention but I thought that it was worth it. I was about to tell my best

friend jewels but I got a call from my brother and he told me not to tell

anyone. He also told me that his mate was jewels. I flipped and jewels

ran. “HEY YOU BETTER COME BACK HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU”!

That, is the story of what happens when I am late to school. That was the

time that I learnt to always stay on track.

Finally Here Is My Score From The Rubric

Assessment:	Self	Peer
Ideas	R4	R4
Struct & Lang	R4	R5

WOLF!

Last week we got told to persuade our parents to get us a pet.

I chose a wolf because I love to read about them.

By what I have read I would find a wolf very handy. hope you enjoy!

Instructions

Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.

Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.

Read the feedback from your writing buddy.

Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.

Assess the final version of your own writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

Here is my Draft

I would be very grateful if you were to consider getting me a wolf for me to look after and for them to look after me.

I would like to have a wolf so I could be protected at all times. If I were to have a wolf with me I would be able to train them to become a calm and collected animal. I would take them out for a walk to the park and if I am in any danger they would always be there for me. You would not have to worry about me being captured or being murdered for something that I didn't do.

I would be more responsible and energetic because I would have to take them on a walk or run. I would be more responsible because I would have something to look after. They will let me get on their back and I would never be late to school. What fun!

When I go to bed I would sometimes have nightmares so if I had a wolf for a pet they might cuddle up to me and calm me down. Then maybe I will get more sleep with their midnight black fur keeping me warm and protecting me from the bad nightmares that keep me up at night. SO FLUFFY!

That is why I would love to have a wolf for a pet. So what do you say … no okay maybe I will try a fox next time.

Here is the feedback That my buddy Chloe gave me

Hi Emily I think you have done a good job and although you have to

work on it, I think it's good.

I think you need to think of the negative side of things to see if there

are more negatives than positives, or more positives than negatives.

Last but not least here is my final

I would be very grateful if you were to consider getting me a wolf for

me to look after and for them to look after me.

I would like to have a wolf so I could be protected at all times.

If I were to have a wolf with me I would be able to train them to

become a calm and collected animal. I would take them out for

a walk to the park and if I am in any danger they would always

be there for me. You would not have to worry about me being

captured or being murdered for something that I didn't do.

I would be more responsible and energetic because I would

have to take them on a walk or run. I would be more responsible

because I would have something to look after. They will let me get

on their back and I would never be late to school. What fun!

When I go to bed I would sometimes have nightmares so if I had a

wolf for a pet they might cuddle up to me and calm me down. Then

maybe I will get more sleep with their midnight black fur keeping me

warm and protecting me from the bad nightmares that keep me up at night.

SO FLUFFY!

There maybe some bad things like it might attack people who dare go

near me. When we go for a walk down to the park it might see a dog and

start growling ferociously at them as they chase them away. At night when

I have a nightmare my wolf could wake everyone up by getting possessive

over me and growl at my dreams.

There are a lot of things that could go wrong but at least I will feel safe with

a wolf by my side wherever I go. If you say no I might try a fox next time.