WOLF!

Last week we got told to persuade our parents to get us a pet.

I chose a wolf because I love to read about them.

By what I have read I would find a wolf very handy. hope you enjoy!

Instructions

Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.

Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.

Read the feedback from your writing buddy.

Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.

Assess the final version of your own writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

Here is my Draft

I would be very grateful if you were to consider getting me a wolf for me to look after and for them to look after me.

I would like to have a wolf so I could be protected at all times. If I were to have a wolf with me I would be able to train them to become a calm and collected animal. I would take them out for a walk to the park and if I am in any danger they would always be there for me. You would not have to worry about me being captured or being murdered for something that I didn't do.

I would be more responsible and energetic because I would have to take them on a walk or run. I would be more responsible because I would have something to look after. They will let me get on their back and I would never be late to school. What fun!

When I go to bed I would sometimes have nightmares so if I had a wolf for a pet they might cuddle up to me and calm me down. Then maybe I will get more sleep with their midnight black fur keeping me warm and protecting me from the bad nightmares that keep me up at night. SO FLUFFY!

That is why I would love to have a wolf for a pet. So what do you say … no okay maybe I will try a fox next time.

Here is the feedback That my buddy Chloe gave me

Hi Emily I think you have done a good job and although you have to

work on it, I think it's good.

I think you need to think of the negative side of things to see if there

are more negatives than positives, or more positives than negatives.

Last but not least here is my final

I would be very grateful if you were to consider getting me a wolf for

me to look after and for them to look after me.

I would like to have a wolf so I could be protected at all times.

If I were to have a wolf with me I would be able to train them to

become a calm and collected animal. I would take them out for

a walk to the park and if I am in any danger they would always

be there for me. You would not have to worry about me being

captured or being murdered for something that I didn't do.

I would be more responsible and energetic because I would

have to take them on a walk or run. I would be more responsible

because I would have something to look after. They will let me get

on their back and I would never be late to school. What fun!

When I go to bed I would sometimes have nightmares so if I had a

wolf for a pet they might cuddle up to me and calm me down. Then

maybe I will get more sleep with their midnight black fur keeping me

warm and protecting me from the bad nightmares that keep me up at night.

SO FLUFFY!

There maybe some bad things like it might attack people who dare go

near me. When we go for a walk down to the park it might see a dog and

start growling ferociously at them as they chase them away. At night when

I have a nightmare my wolf could wake everyone up by getting possessive

over me and growl at my dreams.

There are a lot of things that could go wrong but at least I will feel safe with

a wolf by my side wherever I go. If you say no I might try a fox next time.