For the past 3 weeks we have been working on persuading and entertaining.
On my other post I was to persuade my parents/gardenions to by me my
dream pet. I chose wolf because I love them. We were told that we weren't
aloud to entertain. In this 1 that was our main goal and I feel that I did an amazing
job.
Title: A strange thing happened on the way to school today
Make up a story about something strange that happened on the way to school.
Make sure you:
Have an orientation (where, when, who)
Describe the main characters
Tell me about a problem that happened
Tell me how the problem was solved
End with a conclusion
Have a clear message, theme or moral.
Instructions:
Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.
Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.
Read the feedback from your writing buddy.
Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.
Assess the final version of your own writing for Ideas and Structure & Language using the Writing Rubric.
Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for Ideas and Structure & Language using the Writing Rubric.
Stumbling on the pathway through the forest trying to get to school on time.
It was friday and I was tired from all the work from school. I was by myself
because I woke up late.
I stopped only to hear a howl from the trees. I got intrigued in what it was
that made the howl so I went of the path and into the dark part of the woods.
I looked around only to find wolves laying on the ground with others on top.
The once green grass had blood dripping from it. I got scared and started to
scream. Everything went quiet. Not one wolf was moving but they were all
looking at me.
I noticed that three wolves were trudering towards me so I moved back.
All of the wolves ( that were alive ) were growling at me as if I were their
prey. I finally noticed wolf that was right in front of me but what shocked
me the most is that It turned into my brother. The other wolf tuned into
my father and the last wolf turned into a man that I felt had a lot of power.
The wolves started to fight again but this time the man and my family
grabed me and ran they ran and ran until we couldn't hear them anymore.
The man that I didn't know walked up to me, grabbed me and shouted “MINE”!
My father told me that we were all werewolves and I was shocked.
I found out that that the man's name was river. Apparently he was my
mate and I got told that a mate is short for soulmate. It’s something
that wolves do. They can’t live without them. The wolves that I just
saw were from his pack. He is the alpha also known as the leader.
Some of them are roges and they are trying to protect their kids
and mates. I wanted to help them but my mate dragged me to the
house and locked me in his room. The war ended and I realized
that I was late to school.
That is what happens when you wake up late and walk away from
your path. Always stay on track.
Here Is My Feedback From My Friend Chloe
Hey Emily, Your story is very interesting I like the part when you
said “were growling at me as if I were their prey” There is a few
things that you need to work on like things that don’t make sense
“I found out that that the man's name was river and he was my
mate. I got told that a mate is like a soulmate for wolves” besides
that it is amazing keep up the great work.
Here Is My Amazing Final That I Have Worked So Hard On
Stumbling on the pathway through the forest trying to get to school
on time. It was friday and I was tired from all the work from school.
I was by myself because I woke up late.
I stopped only to hear a howl from the trees. I got intrigued in what
it was that made the howl so I went of the path and into the dark
part of the woods. I looked around only to find wolves laying on the
ground with others on top. The once green grass had blood dripping
from it. I got scared and started to scream. Everything went quiet. Not
one wolf was moving but they were all looking at me.
I noticed that three wolves were trudering towards me so I moved back.
All of the wolves ( that were alive ) were growling at me as if I were their
prey. I finally noticed wolf that was right in front of me but what shocked
me the most is that It turned into my brother. The other wolf tuned into
my father and the last wolf turned into a man that had a lot of power vibrating
of him.
The wolves started to fight again but this time the man and my family
grabed me and ran they ran and ran until we couldn't hear them anymore.
The man that I didn't know walked up to me, grabbed me and shouted “MINE”!
My father told me that we were all werewolves and I was shocked.
I found out that that the man's name was river and he was my mate. I got
told that a mate is like a soulmate for wolves. They can’t live without them.
The wolves that I just saw were from his pack. He is the alpha also known
as the leader. The wolves that were trying to hurt them were roges. There
weren't any woman there because they were all in the safe house. I
wanted to help them but my mate dragged me to the house and locked
me in his room so I don’t get hurt.
The war ended and I realized that I was late to school. I quickly ran out of
the house and darted to school like I were a cheater. I got three weeks
of detention but I thought that it was worth it. I was about to tell my best
friend jewels but I got a call from my brother and he told me not to tell
anyone. He also told me that his mate was jewels. I flipped and jewels
ran. “HEY YOU BETTER COME BACK HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU”!
That, is the story of what happens when I am late to school. That was the
time that I learnt to always stay on track.
Finally Here Is My Score From The Rubric
Assessment:
|
Self
|
Peer
|
Ideas
|
R4
|
R4
|
Struct & Lang
|
R4
|
R5
|
Or you could be going into an interview with your dream job and can't get it because of what you had put on the internet.
